Review: The Bye Bye Man

The very moment I heard that there was a theatrical horror movie coming out with such a hilariously dumb title like “The Bye Bye Man”, I decided that I had to see it. There was always the possibility that I would be surprised at how good it was, but I was mainly just hoping for a movie that was so hilariously bad that I fell in love with it.

 

The emotional plurality that I experienced was unfortunately not jubilant laughter. Instead, The Bye Bye Man made me experience unending, tiresome irritation. The Bye Bye Man is easily the most incompetent horror movie that I’ve seen in the past five years… and I’ve seen The Darkness.

 

Every single actor in this movie delivers their lines excruciatingly. The main character, Elliot, has this thing that he does when he gets super serious: he widens his bug-eyes and delivers his lines in a high-pitched whiny voice. The scenes where this happens were some of the funniest moments in the entire movie. Any other time he’s talking, he delivers his lines with boredom and indifference.

Love interest Sasha is such a bad actor that I cringed multiple times as she was delivering the terrible dialogue. Everyone else in this movie was either bland or just as terrible as the leads. There’s a child actor that got way more screen time than I anticipated she would, and she was easily one of the worst child actors I’ve seen in a long time.

 

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As anticipated, every single event in the plot solely occurs because the characters are either terrible communicators, stupid, assholes, or some fantastic combination of three. Every single character in this film is unlikable or at the very least so dumb that they deserve what happens to them.

 

The dialogue in this movie is painful and completely unaware of what it was trying to accomplish. There wasn’t a single line that made me think of any character in a deeper way. The only character development that I received from the script was that every character graduated from asshole academy with a bachelor’s degree in getting dropped as a child.

 

Are there jump scares? Boy oh boy, there sure are. And yes, every single jump scare was either a false scare or a scare that only existed because of some sort of stupidity. At the very least, I can say that this movie attempted to establish some definitive rules for the horror creature, but they never do anything interesting with the horror creature or the rules. It all follows the standard formula that you’ve seen a hundred times.

And that’s what irritated me about this movie: I knew that it was a bad movie, and I knew that it was the laziest schlock in the world, but I couldn’t conjure up any feelings of rage because it’s bad movie territory that’s been tread a million times.

 

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This movie had some sort of dull green filter on the camera for a vast majority of the film. I could tell that this was done to set some sort of creepy tone, but it never complimented the environment or themes of the movie. It felt like the filter was just there because it was part of the tiresome formula.

There were parts in the movie where they established something that they NEVER come back to again. There was one moment where the home’s space heater mysteriously has a hole poked through it, emitting some sort of gas, and then it’s never brought up again for the rest of the movie. There’s a moment where Sasha gets some sort of cough because reasons, but she stops coughing halfway through the movie, and it’s never brought up or explained ever again.

 

And of course, like I stated in my Sleeping Beauty (2014) review, there’s a point where the movie tries to distract you from how terrible it is by having one of the female actresses wear a really low-cut top. Well, this movie is so bad that they have a female character walk around her house in a bra and panties.

Now there are quite a few moments where the acting and dialogue is so bad that I laughed out loud in the empty theatre that I watched it in, but the majority of the movie was me either being bored, unimpressed, or audibly groaning at how lazy it was being.

 

 

This movie sucks. The sequence of events is lazily strung together, the acting is atrocious, the dialogue is cringe-inducing and boring, the characters are a band of unlikable schmucks, and honestly guys, don’t see this movie. Don’t see it, don’t think it. Don’t see it, don’t think it…

… and I’m giving this movie a 1 out of 10.

 

 

stevejdonahue.wordpress.com

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